Do you remember how you responded to the tragedy of 9/11? I remember my response. Like virtually everyone else, I was shocked and deeply saddened by the unimaginable horror that unfolded on what was an otherwise blue-sky day in New York City. Daily, I wondered what the victims must have felt as well as their families. Each time I thought about the event, I grew angrier toward those who had perpetrated this evil. I even felt hatred and disgust toward them. I wanted the people responsible to not only be caught and quickly tried, but I wanted them to suffer for their evil. No mercy, justice only, saturated with retribution. They deserved nothing less, or so I believed.
The ego in me fed on such thoughts of offense and revolt and the retribution both demanded. Every time I heard Toby Keith sing the lyrics to his song, “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue,” I raised a fist of agreement and joined the fight club.
The ego in me was scared. The thought that attacks of a similar nature might occur anytime in the future was more overwhelming than I could tolerate. So, it pleased me when government officials began looking for somebody or some country to punish for our pain. Their actions gave my desire for vengeance a temporary reprieve.
I now realize that one of the main reasons why most of us in the U.S., including most churches and church leaders, wanted to believe, in spite of evidence to the contrary, that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction was because the ego in all of us was reeling from the blow of 9/11. We wanted blood to spill for this horrific deed. So, when high ranking officials said that weapons were in Iraq, most of us did not question their haste to go to war. It was as if we were looking for any reason to feed our own egoic appetite for revenge. We were even willing to risk the lives of our daughters and sons, as well as the reputation of our nation in the eyes of the world, in the hope that, after launching an assault, we would eventually find the weapons. We never did.
Ego has two objectives. The first, as we have seen already, is to edge God out. The second is to enthrone itself. It wants power, supremacy, and security, and it will do whatever is necessary to get it. In varying degrees, it will retaliate, or take a pre-emptive strike, on anyone or anything it perceives as a threat. Ego has no regard for anything or anyone. It has no regard for you, either, which is why the real demon in this world is not the character created by religious people—the cute and harmless caricature of evil in red suit with a pitch fork and horns. Satan is really the human ego, the demonic monster inside you and me.
When ancient religious people observed evil so unimaginable it defied explanation, they gave it a name—Satan, who also goes by the name, Devil. I prefer the name Ego, however. It’s a little harder to dismiss our culpability when you realize this little demon makes his home in your own mind.
But, of course, this Devil would much prefer that you give your attention, as most religious people do, to his benign and fictitious alter-ego. That way, the Ego-Demon is free to go about as a roaring lion, as Saint Peter warned, “seeking whom he may devour.”
Here’s how the ego in me responded to the events of 9/11.
For months after that act of violence against the U.S., I thought about it with as much frequency as it was reported in the news. The more I nursed the offense I felt (ego, ego, ego), the angrier and more frightened (or, the more un-Christlike or Christ-unconscious), I became. I looked with suspicion on anyone whose skin color made me think they might have ties to one of the countries around the Persian Gulf. I especially eyed with suspicion anyone wearing a thobe or kandura, garments frequently worn by Muslims.
I was so rattled by the whole damn thing I went out and bought a handgun. For a while, I felt better, even safer. But, after a few days, the fear returned. So, I went back to the gun dealer and bought another handgun, and then, a little later, another still. Before long, I owned three handguns and a high powered rifle with a scope. About this same time, Kentucky passed the Carry Concealed handgun law. I enrolled in one of the first classes of instruction. After a few sessions and an exam, I was awarded a license to carry a concealed weapon.
For weeks, I toted around a concealed handgun. After a while, however, the thrill of it, as well as the illusory sense of security it provided, faded away. It’s not a little ironic to me that, as I am writing this part of the book, I saw a story today on the front page of our morning paper. It’s about the on-going debate in our city over churches and church members who have been carrying concealed weapons to church. What insanity!
Due to the recent rash of shootings across the U.S. in congregations at worship, there has been a heightened sense of alarm and fear. So, unaware of how the ego responds to threats, some religious people have devised a way to hide the fear the little me in them is feeling behind lofty debates over Constitutional issues. One minister expressed the sentiments of many of these frightened Christians by saying the Second Amendment right to bear arms is a “God-given right.”
A “God-given right?” Can you imagine a greater egoic delusion? I had to laugh to keep from crying! I’m sure he spends most of his time in the Old Testament because he could not be a follower of Jesus and justify anything so absurd.
As I have read the blogs this morning around this news story, I found the following strangely ironic. It is the self-described non-churchgoing bloggers who seem more aware of Jesus’ teaching than the Christians themselves. These bloggers are reminding the frightened, little egos of what they should know themselves. Jesus held to a vastly different view than is held by most Christians today. Check out…
• Jesus’ view of violence of any kind;
• Jesus’ view as to how to treat a “perceived” enemy; and,
• Jesus’ view as to the fate of those who choose to “live by the sword.”
This is why Jesus admonished those who would pursue his path to “take up the cross,” which is just another way of saying, “to die to all attachments,” including the attachment to one’s own egoic need for survival and protection.
If you have died already, what would you need to protect?
Jesus said, “Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” The “…him which is able to destroy the body and the soul”…who is that? By now, you should know it is the ego.
Hell is the world here,
Wherein liveth a little monster, Fear.
I’m not normally so poetic; but, that’s a pretty good verse, if you ask me.
