It was a Sunday afternoon. I had not gone to church that day. In fact, I had not gone to church with any regularity for years. I was reclining on the living room couch, watching with the left hemisphere of my brain a PBS television special, and daydreaming with the other. I don’t recall being in any particular frame of mind, but I certainly wasn’t anticipating what happened next either.
Out-of-the-blue and instantaneously, something happened to me or, more accurately, in me that literally transformed the way I felt about life, including that of my own and the way I viewed the world and everyone in it. It changed my view of and experience of the Transcendent, too.
The event was simple and ordinary. I don’t recall having a vision of anything. In fact, I saw nothing at all. Yet, in an instant, I saw everything, too. I did not see God, but there is a sense in which I did, too. Deep joy was so unmistakably real and near to me. Instantly I felt in the presence of God and that feeling has been with me ever since.
Today, no matter how out-of-control things may be around me, there is in me a sense of calm, peace, and a feeling that everything is just as it should be. Peace, contentment, and tranquility are my normal states of consciousness. Joy, too. I know this all sounds like a huge enigma and, in many ways, it is. I cannot explain it otherwise.
Easterners often speak of something they call “the law of least effort.” What they mean by this is, “Do less and accomplish more.” Now, such a notion is strange to westerners who are taught from the cradle that they must do more and more and still more and then, and only then, should they expect to be duly rewarded for it.
What I’ve learned, however, is that this is not the behavior of grace at all. When Grace is understood and experienced, and it isn’t understood and hasn’t been experienced by many religious people, grace is really about doing nothing and enjoying everything. I like to tell the story of the poor beggar who was rummaging through a garbage heap looking for his next meal when, suddenly, he finds a discarded lottery ticket. To his chagrin, he discovers it bears the winning numbers to a multi-million dollar jackpot. Grace. It occurs when you least expect it, and often to those you believe to be the least deserving.
Since that day of awakening, my life has not been some fairytale but I would be dishonest to say anything else but that it has been pretty close. I once heard a highly regarded spiritual teacher from the east say, “In my world nothing ever goes wrong.” Everything in me revolted against such an absurd statement prior to my spiritual experience. Today, however, I cannot say that about my own life, but I understand it much more now.
The best I can say is that, for me, life is no longer the struggle or the burden it used to be. Instead of swimming upstream, one of many metaphors that would aptly describe my life prior to the awakening, I now flow with life. How could I not be at peace when, instead of resisting what is, I now accept, often forgive, but always flow with life itself?
I’ve called this my “spiritual awakening” because, in many ways, it was as if I woke up and started living. In eastern religions, it could be called a “satori.” Satori is a Sanskrit word meaning “sudden insight,” “awareness,” and “consciousness.” It is often the word used to describe a transformative experience. What happened to me on that couch may not be filled with a lot of drama, fireworks, lights and sounds, but, whatever it was it changed my life forever. And, for the better.
