“I think I need a therapist,” she responded.  At just five, I was surprised she knew what one was.

Her assessment was spot on, however. Ours is a dysfunctional family. I see it in them because I know it in myself. We like in others what we value in ourselves. We dislike about others what we deny in ourselves.  Gratefully, I’ve learned to like myself over the years, which really just means I’ve learned to forgive myself and so to forgive them.

Which is precisely what keeps me returning to the annual family tradition, too.  It’s there, with the family, I remember who I am. It’s there, I’m reminded who I’m not. Rumi once said, “If you think you’re so enlightened, spend a week with your family.”  We laugh and sometimes cry. We debate and often disagree about everything from religion to politics to the really important stuff as in how Bristol Palin manages to remain on Dancing with the Stars. For all our oddity, however, we are family. And, I am grateful.

1.  For my children, too.  Perfect? Pretty close.  A day rarely passes but what I look at them and know, for all my blunderings as a parent, they have become remarkable young adults.  They’re independent and hardworking, but as different as night and day. They love their parents and quick to say so. They think for themselves and their beliefs are their own.  They’re responsible, as well as compassionate human beings. How could I not give thanks for such children?

2.  For my parents, I give thanks.  I get my own independence, and survivalist instincts, from my mother.  She’s relentless.  Will celebrate her eightieth birthday soon, but age doesn’t seem to bother her.  To her, aging is something old people do.  Yes, we’re planning a party for her eightieth. But, just to make certain we hadn’t forgotten—which of course we had—we recently discovered Mom had reserved the party room for her own party at the condo where she lives.

With Dad, I have only the memories. He up-and-died before any of us were ready and that just before Thanksgiving sixteen years ago.  Talk about a strange day. Everyone was at table but the one whose chair was conspicuously empty at the end.  His death was a life-defining moment, as in the day Kennedy died or 9/11.  When it happened, I couldn’t imagine anything worse. Sixteen years later, I can’t imagine anything better. I describe at length in The Enoch Factor how I arrived at this conclusion, as well as the transformation that occurred in my life as a consequence.  Louis L’Amour said, “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.”

My in-laws are amazing, too.  Since they live hundreds of miles from us or we from them, we only rarely celebrate the holidays with them. It’s trite to say, but true. Whenever I hear “salt-of-the-earth,” I think of them.  The day I married their daughter, I became their son. There’s no pretense with them. They’re two of the most grounded and spiritual people I’ve ever known.  They simply live and live simply. They don’t judge people either, even those they don’t understand.

3.  I give thanks for my work—the fact that I have a job and one I love. Today, many would give almost anything just to have a job to hate.

I quit looking for myself in my work many years ago. I used to think I showed up for some grand purpose in life. So, I squandered the bulk of my adult life looking for that purpose, my big break, the “opportunity,” and that one chance to make a name for myself and so fulfill the great calling of my life. I finally realized, if I was ever going to be happy—not just temporarily – I could achieve that on occasion – but genuinely happy – that kind of inner stillness and contentment—I had to give up that silly notion. Instead, I began practicing the art of self-acceptance, to learn to enjoy what is, not what used to be or what might be.  The Buddha said, “Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Jesus said much the same thing, “Take no thought for tomorrow.” It sounds impossible and almost is.  But, with practice, there’s peace—the kind that stays with you.

4.  For my church, I give thanks.  A self-described, “thinking, feeling, healing community of faith.”  It’s all three.  Contrary to most, there’s freedom to think here, to believe as I discern for myself.  This church has declared no war with culture or science or other nations.  Everyone’s welcome, regardless of race, or sexual preference.  Women lead here, too. Absent is the madness in much religion—as in extreme forms of Islam and Christianity—a madness that assumes, “We’re right, you’re wrong!” “We’re in, you’re out!” “We’re the chosen ones, you’re not!” How could I not be grateful for a church like this?

5.  For my country, I give thanks.  No, I don’t like a lot of what goes on, especially in Washington. I used to like flying, too. But, not anymore. Don’t want TSA officials touching me or looking at me as if they might—like I’m the needle in the haystack, the one, lone terrorist among a trillion travelers.

I don’t like wondering whether the news I’m getting is accurate. Or, that taxes go up and service goes down.  Or, that the rich are getting richer and the poor poorer? I don’t like it when leaders are moved more by the whines on Wall Street than the woes on Main Street.  Or, that our lawmakers endlessly debate things like the “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” policy.  I’m bothered whenever we defend the human rights of people in other nations but deny the equal rights of citizens in our own.  I don’t like the fact that on Thanksgiving day, while I’m enjoying abundance, there are twelve million children who are hungry.  And, this in America alone.

Yet, for all I don’t like about what’s going on in America, I can’t imagine any place I’d rather be.  Where could I go to find greater freedom? Or, more opportunity?  Where could I see mountains and valleys, streams and rivers more colorful or stunning? And, where would I find people who are more beautiful, compassionate, and generous?  So, today, I pause to give thanks for America and for those who’ve given their lives to defend the freedoms I too often take for granted.

Sometimes I remind myself that I could have been born somewhere else. But, through no choice of my own, I was lucky enough to be born here—in America.  How could I not be grateful but, especially, on Thanksgiving Day?

I don’t think it ever occurred to my parents what impact these experiences would have on me or my brothers.  I visited countries and witnessed cultures where the Christian faith is anything but the primary religious tradition.  For instance, I met scores of people who were devoted practitioners of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam.  While most of their spiritual practices were foreign to me, even weird at times, the one question that haunted me on many occasions was this:  If my religion is right—Christianity—and their religion is false or, at best, incomplete or misguided—which is precisely what most Christians still believe today—why has it taken them thousands of years to discover their error?  Furthermore, if their religious practices were not rewarding them with a life-changing experience of the Divine, why would they keep doing them for centuries?  Are they just slow to learn?  What’s the problem here?

So, I made it my practice, not only to know the efficacy of my own faith tradition, but to study and know what other religions teach, too.

Here are a couple of conclusions to which I’ve come.  There has only ever been one spiritual truth.  It is known, experienced, and expressed in multiple languages and through a variety of cultures and traditions.

The other is this:  There is far more that all religions share in common than there has ever been that distinguishes or separates them.  The future of humanity is at stake and the Dalai lama is so correct in saying, “Until there is peace among the religions, there will be no peace in the world.”  We are at a crucial time in human history.  Many thinkers and visionaries do not believe humanity will survive if the religions of this world do not share together their similar commitments and work together to bring harmony between people and nations.

What many Christians do not realize is that the world views much of their message as a conflagration of contradiction.  For example, Christians say the gospel they preach is powerful enough to change the world. Yet, in recent years, there’s been an enormous interest among Christians in what they call the Rapture or Return of Jesus Christ.  Many of them are even praying for it.  One of the most popular and money-making fictional series in the history of Christian publishing has been the “Left Behind” series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.  Their entire storyline is based on this hugely complex system of the Rapture—of how the world will come to an end.  What many Christians seem to have forgotten is the one caveat Jesus gave as to when he would NOT return—that’s when everyone was expecting it. Jesus said that his return would be as a thief in the night, when everyone was least expecting it.  Since the majority of Christians are looking for his imminent return, they would do well to recognize they’re just as likely responsible for his delay.

Of course, I say all of this with tongue-in-cheek.  I no longer subscribe to any of these apocalyptic views of the culmination of human history.  Had God wanted us to understand how the world would end, he’d have sobered up Saint John long enough to write something a little more intelligible than the Revelation he gave us.  What Jesus did give us, around which there is no confusion, is the clear admonition, “Take no thought of tomorrow.”  Words do not get much clearer than this. Yet, most Christians seem interested in talking more about tomorrow than in how they’re living today.

The Law of Attraction has its roots in quantum physics. Simply put, the law states that your thoughts dictate your reality. Like everything else, thoughts are made up energy waves that attract like energies in return. Positive thoughts, for example, operate at higher energy or vibrational frequencies. So, when you think positive thoughts, you both broadcast and receive, or attract, positive results. Conversely, negative thoughts vibrate at lower energy frequencies. When your thoughts are charged with negativity, you get negative results.

Essentially, Saint Paul pointed to the same spiritual law in his Letter to the Philippians. Although he knew nothing of either quantum physics or the Law of Attraction per se, he wrote:

“I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”[1]

In other words, today’s thoughts manifest tomorrow’s realities. The Buddha himself said, “All that we are is the result of all that we have thought.”

The Law of Attraction operates in this world with as much reliability as the Law of Gravity. The former is a spiritual law, the latter a physical. While neither can be seen with the naked eye, their effects are witnessed and even somewhat predictable.  For example, the Law of Gravity makes it possible to predict with uncanny certainty what will happen if you leap from the fifty-fourth floor of high-rise in Manhattan. The Law of Attraction makes it possible to predict the kind of life you will live by the kind of thoughts you think.

If you think angry thoughts, for example, it shouldn’t surprise you to frequently find yourself in volatile, even hostile situations.  You’ve heard of “road rage?” Angry motorists triggering or, you might say, attracting a similar rage in other drivers.

Take another example. If you think your life is not going to work out for you, why would you be surprised when it doesn’t? What you expect, you experience.  When you begin to realize that this is how life works, you’ll get real cautious about the kinds of thoughts you think. Why? Because, as Wayne Dyer puts it, “You’ll get what you think about whether you want it or not.”

The Law of Gravity makes possible life on this planet. But, it’s also the law that brings down a plane whenever there’s a loss of power. There’s an equally unattractive side to the Law of Attraction, at least where the ego is involved. Some practitioners of this law, for example, make the mistake of believing it guarantees that, whatever they want and are willing to give their undivided attention, they will get.  They believe, if they hold the thought of what they want in their minds with resoluteness and have no doubt whatsoever, what they want is on its way.

Just as no Christian can use Jesus’ name to get anything he or she wants, you cannot use the Law of Attraction to land a career, the house of your dreams, the career position, the income you desire, and so on. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your life or your life situation, whenever ambition is driven by ego, then the desires usually become self-serving, self-centered and self-obsessed. Neither God nor God’s laws can be so manipulated.

“What is ego?” you ask.

The ego is a little monster who resides within the psyche of every person. No one is without one.  It is problematic and dysfunctional—problematic because it is the principal cause of human unhappiness and discontent; and, it is dysfunctional because it is only interested in its-self.  In its more extreme forms, ego manifests as insanity.

It was not that many years ago when religious people were prone to label persons who had very dysfunctional egos as either insane, even demon-possessed.  Since they had no other way of explaining strange and aberrant behavior, they assumed these people were under the control of an evil power they called Satan, or the Devil.  We know now, however, that Satan is really a kind of alter ego or the dark side of one’s personality.

This alter-ego, or the Devil, has many other names, too.  In Islam, for example, it is called Iblis.  It was Mara over whom Siddhârtha Gautama finally prevailed at his spiritual awakening under the Bodhi Tree.   Because he successfully triumphed over his own alter-ego, The Buddha, which means Enlightened One, has been the source of spiritual inspiration to millions of people.  What many believing people in my own religious tradition do not know is that they, too, have an alter-ego, a little demon inside each of them, and it is dysfunctional, too, even insane. The difference is only in the degree of insanity.

So, here’s the bottom line.  Whether it’s something you “wish to attract” as a pseudo-religious person or “pray to receive” as a person of faith, whenever your ego is present, and it is present more often than it is not, the Law of Attraction is interrupted.  That is, it is corrupted and the law ceases to operate as you might desire.  The same happens to the efficacy of prayer when those who pray do so in an attempt to manipulate reality.

James, author of a New Testament book that bears his name, understood this. While he did not know to use the words ego or Law of Attraction, he was well acquainted with the realities beneath and beyond those terms. He wrote, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives.[2] He might have put it this way: “When you want something and believe you’ll get it, either through prayer or focused thinking, but you do not receive it, there’s a simple reason why: it is because your wanting and craving is only for yourself.”

“Then, how can I know when ego is present?” you ask.

This and a host of other questions related to the ego, I’ll answer very soon.

[2] James 4:3, NIV