I was not raised as a Christian. My parents never went to church, nor was I dropped off at Sunday School like so many others I knew, so they could have a few hours of peace. So I knew nothing of religion. My dad professed to be agnostic, I didn’t know what he meant. I heard the name of Jesus only as a curse. I don’t remember any religious instruction in school, or much of any school at all. As an airforce brat I was moved and moved. But something deeply spiritual lived in me. I think it was because I was a loner, an only child, with no friends, always the new kid always bullied. Made me introspective, a people watcher, a thinker and a dreamer. I never felt connected to individuals but recognised pain in others from an early age. Had so much of my own, it was hard not to. Dwelling on suffering and wondering why was my first spiritual practice. So when I encountered Buddhism, it resonated with me. I tried to practice non attachment. Unsuccessfully! I was 13. I had no guide. Only a few books. I tried to meditate. I never knew if I was “doing it right”. It helped anyway. After a suicide attempt a line from a Japenese Zen poem went through my head – “Only the suicide thinks he can leave by the door that is merely painted on the wall”. That thought saved my life. I didn’t try again, though tempted many times. I was, and am, a seeker. So when Mormons found me, lonely and eager for deep and meaningful talks on the nature and meaning of life, I was an easy target. And so began my indoctrination into religion. I left the Latter Day Saints only to fall into another cult, the Baptists. At the time I was assured I was closer to truth. I was not. My spirit must be strong, the brainwashing never really took! My connection to Divine waxed and waned. I believe because I kept trying to stuff God into the tiny box of correct doctrine. Once I broke the box for good, there is no going back. I occasionally attend church and weekly attend bible study, it is only for the company and community, which churches do well. My bible study group is full of kind and sincere Christians who I love, but do not believe as they do. I stay anyway and keep silent for much of the discussions. If I cannot in good conscience, stay quiet on a point I really disagree with, they try to gently correct me! I struggle with the question to stay or go. For so much of my life with no friends and no belonging it feels good to be there. I, like you Steve, feel more at home within the Christian tradition. Jesus is my guide. I just can’t find a church that doesn’t grasp to tightly to worn out theology. So I go and believe selectively, as I know so many others do.